I Used To Be Stupid » Mixed Definitions

Dead End

I Used To Be Stupid — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 22:49:25 +0000

When I was little I thought that "Dead End" signs meant that if you went down that road you would die. We got lost one time and I screamed for my mother and father to turn around on another road because I wasn't ready to die.

Post Image CC BY 2.0 bennylin0724

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The Tallest Building in The World

I Used To Be Stupid — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 17:01:15 +0000

When I was a little kid, my parents told me that the Sears Tower was the tallest building in the world. I naturally took this to mean that the local Sears was the tallest building in the world and would proudly point it out to people every time we passed it. "Look. There it is. There's the Sears!"

Post Image CC BY 3.0: mheisel

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Baby Showers

I Used To Be Stupid — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 14:17:18 +0000

The first time I ever heard the term "Baby Shower" I was a little confused as to what it pertained. Images ran through my head of a bunch of people coming together to actually give a baby a shower. So my brain tried to process why in the heck anyone would want to do such a thing. I rationalized that the only reason people would do this is to baptize the baby. I figured it was a more humane method of baptizing someone rather than dunking the child underwater. Back then this made total sense to me, now I typically keep my mouth shut about the whole thought to not make myself look like an idiot.

Post Image CC stevendepolo

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Excuse Me

I Used To Be Stupid — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 12:03:37 +0000

Rakkel from Texas sends in a tale of manners.

My mom raised me well and told me that I was supposed to say "excuse me" after I burped. However she didn't tell me why or that it is only required in public situations. Thus, I remember one night my mom had some friends over and I walked through the living room and burped pretty loud. She got on to me for not apologizing. But I was confused because I had just said "excuse me" to myself in my head! I had done the right thing!

This is when I learned the words weren't for me, they were for those around me. Habits are hard to break though, and to this day I still silently excuse myself when I belch alone.

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All Way Stops

I Used To Be Stupid — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 00:09:55 +0000

When I was younger I noticed some stop signs had the little sign "all way" underneath. I used to think only those you had to stop all the way at and if it wasn't posted, then you can roll through. My evidence was seeing every driver do that.

Post Image: Kurt Nordstrom

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Hamburger Face

I Used To Be Stupid — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 18:52:47 +0000

Holly from Oklahoma submits this tasty bike accident story.

When I was in the fourth grade I went head over handlebars on my bike while taking a pretty fast turn around a corner on a wet street. After being forced into going to the minor emergency by my parents I was told that I would need stitches in my chin.

The doctor who was given the horrible task of taking a needle to my face was trying to lighten the mood to make me stop shaking by making lame jokes. However, as my mother will openly admit, I never was a funny child. His first response to seeing my chin after my hand was pried away from my face was that it looked like hamburger. It took me years (I'm talking eight or nine) to realize that he meant ground beef, and not the hamburger with cheese and lettuce and tomato like my mental image was at the time.

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You're Hot

I Used To Be Stupid — Thu, 06 May 2010 23:38:48 +0000

When I was a kid, I was a bit too innocent at times. I also didn't really watch television, so the context behind certain words were sometimes a bit vague.

Once I went for a weekend break with my class organized by the school, and we got to know a bunch of people from another school. At the end of it, we were given a paper and asked to write something nice about everyone. There was a particular girl who had the latest fashion clothes and stuff, so on her paper I wrote something like: "It was nice to get to know you, you're hot. Good luck in your exams". Because I thought "hot" meant something like "trendy" or whatever.

Everyone thought I was a lesbian.

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Delicious Cheesecloth

I Used To Be Stupid — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 23:56:05 +0000

From the Anonymous Bin:

I used to think that cheesecloth was a by-product of cheese.

A tasty cloth made out of cheese? That actually sort of sounds like a good idea. Clean up your wine spill, and then enjoy a nice snack all at once.

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