Calvin Lee attempts to understand television:

When I was a child, I had a very big misunderstanding about what black and white television was. I thought that old television shows did not have color, because color did not exist until the 1960s. I felt so bad for all the people who lived back then when there was no color. It must have been so boring and sad all the time.

I used to be quite stupid: I took everyone on television as real.

On one particular occasion I was watching some infomercial as a child on the art of hair restoration. One of the ingredients in this natural solution was peanut butter. My kid brother was nine months old and was lacking in the hair department. I figured that I would help him.

That evening I took a spoon and a jar of peanut butter and covered his entire scalp. When my mother arrived home from work that night she was less than amused.

Perhaps the infomercial in questions was The Peanut Button Solution?

Nate overestimates the power of sunglasses;

As a young lad, I thought sunglasses would enable you to look directly at the sun and without hurting your eyes. None of mine ever worked....

Meanwhile I thought that my sunglasses would allow me to see the alien race that lives amongst us. Later I came to understand that I was really just having flashbacks about They Live.

Yes I was quite flighty as a youngster. This story takes place again in the 80's. Ahh the memories. Well tanning was new and quite big. I found myself a tanning machine that basically looked like a spot light of sorts, at a garage sale for 50 bucks. Great deal!

I took it home, undressed and sat in front of this thing, and sat and sat. I kept checking myself and I just was not tanning. after two hours I put my face right up against it for a good half hour. Still no tan. I finally gave up and went to nap. I was awaken from my nap in excruciating pain. I could not open my eyes. Something was terribly wrong. I called for my friend who ran into my room and said "Umm. We need to get you to the emergency room. You are redder then a tomato and your eyes look like those of a frog!"

After spending two days in the hospital where they had to surgically cut my jeans off of my because they were sticking to my skin and the second degree burns, I realized tanning is not my thing!

Post Image: Whatsername?

From the anonymous bin:

When I was in Kindergarten, I attended a friend's birthday party. While I was there, I took a mental note of his house number (address). The next morning, I woke up before everyone else in the house and decided to call my friend on the telephone. With great expertise (having watched my parents use the telephone in the past), I dialed his two digit house number. I was confused and disappointed when I was unable to reach him. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with the phone.

Post Image: K. Praslowicz

Steve gets confused about televisions.

I used to think that the television was just a big telephone with a screen. So when I watched my favorite shows like Mr. Dressup and Bill Nye I would yell into the speakers to try and talk to them. I never understood why they didn't answer me until my mom walked in at me with my mouth pretty much on the speaker and got a little confused. She then proceeded to explain the differences between TVs and telephones.

Post Image: crabchick

If only it were as easy to break into Television as Shelby thought:

When I was younger I thought that to get into the television with the people all you had to do was break the screen and bam, you would be right there with them!

Post Image: Grant Neufeld

Seth from Temecula had a small issue with spacial relations on television.

When I was younger, when I would see people blurred out on TV shows like Cops, I would walk to the side thinking I could see past the blur.

Post Image: K. Praslowicz

A Mysterious Stranger from Arizona shares the following:

When I was a kid, I of course watched TV and inevitably saw commercials. You know how it would say "Call the number on your screen"? I, until age twelve, thought that meant you had to transform your television screen into a mysterious telephone, and actually call the number, ON your screen.