Up until about the age of eight, I thought that World War II and World War I were actually called "War War II" and "War War I". My logic behind this was that these conflicts were so big, so extreme that they weren't just wars, they were WAR WARS! It wasn't until I asked my 3rd grade teacher if the next one would be called "War War War" or a "War War III" (a logical query!) that someone finally explained it to me.

When I went back to school in the second grade, the teacher had each of us stand up to tell the most amazing thing about our summer vacation. I told about seeing a lot of signs for a mysterious and magical city that you could never reach no matter how far you drove.

The teacher called me to her desk later and privately told me what my older sister hadn't. That the signs I kept seeing didn't mean that we would always be 45 miles away from the town of (as I had pronounced it) "Mum-mum," but that it meant cars on that highway had to drive at least 45 miles an hour. That's why all those signs kept saying "Minimum 45 miles."

Kelsi wonders where the balloons are.

When I was first learning to read, I thought that the little writing under the McDonald's sign said "balloons and balloons served" when in reality it says "billions and billions served".

I used to wonder where all those balloons were when I went to McDonald's cause I hadn't gotten a balloon from there yet.

Post Image: McDonald's website. c. 1996

Before I was ever in school, I may have occasionally heard mild profanity every once in a blue moon. Little did I know that "crap" did not mean the same thing as "crab". That is, until I told my dad that he was a real crap.

When I was younger I always thought people were saying tourists instead of terrorists. I thought it was really weird that tourists would want to attack the World Trade Center.

Post Image: fensterbme

Up until fifth grade, I thought that the word "straight" was synonymous with "virgin".

Nikolas sends in this story about not wanting to be a farmer.

When I was younger I showed an interest in chemistry and my Dad told me to become a pharmacist. I had recently visited a petting zoo and didn't like the smell so I told him there is no farm I would want to assist.

Another quick hit from the anonymous bin:

When I was younger, In Church we would always pray to stop Euthanasia. I always wondered what the youth in Asia were up to that was so bad.

I'm sure most of us can relate to this experience by a Mysterious Stranger:

When I was a kid I thought that Hall & Oats was Haulin' Oats. I assumed they were a country band that sang about farming.

I know I pretty much thought the same thing at one point.

Katlyn mangles some dwarves and freaks out her mother:

When I was a very little girl my parents were going through a divorce and I was experiencing what it was like to have a split family, living with my mother and visiting my father on weekends..

Many times my dad would take me to the movie theaters just to spend quality time and I'd go home and tell my mom about it..

On this particular occasion I arrived home very excited to fill my mom in, I looked at her with a cheesy grin she tells me, and said "Mommy! Today I went to see Snow white and the seven divorces!" .. She was completely mortified!