When I went back to school in the second grade, the teacher had each of us stand up to tell the most amazing thing about our summer vacation. I told about seeing a lot of signs for a mysterious and magical city that you could never reach no matter how far you drove.

The teacher called me to her desk later and privately told me what my older sister hadn't. That the signs I kept seeing didn't mean that we would always be 45 miles away from the town of (as I had pronounced it) "Mum-mum," but that it meant cars on that highway had to drive at least 45 miles an hour. That's why all those signs kept saying "Minimum 45 miles."

When I was little, while riding in the car at night, I thought that there were two types of of cars... ones with red lights and ones with white lights. Our car was always a red light car and for some reason, I was jealous of all the white light cars.

Of course it was just that all I could see were red taillights in our lane, and the white headlights of the oncoming cars.

Post Image: Ron Reiring

When I was seven, I seriously thought I could travel to Luke Skywalker's galaxy and be a Jedi with him when I grew up.

When I was little, I genuinely believed that villains in movies were actually bad people. I thought that when movies needed bad guys, they would go into the local jail and pick someone up. This led me to believing that Glenn Close was a terrible person after watching her in 102 Dalmatians. I know now that famous people (for the most part) are not evil and there is such a thing as "acting."

Some kids have excitings career aspirations like a fireman, or an astronaut. Other kids have, well...

When I was little, I wanted to be a grape when I grew up.

Post Image: hlkljgk

Steve from Montreal tries for super powers the old fashioned way:

Back in the late 70s when I was nine or ten years old, we had a field trip at a science lab. One of the scientists demonstrated how a Geiger counter reacted to different samples of radioactive ore. I tried to steal a sample of radium.

See, when you read comics in which ordinary people get super powers by being exposed to radiations (Spider-Man, Hulk, Fantastic Four) you kinda believe it to be possible. Fortunately, a scientist saw me reach for it and warned me keep my hands to myself, which probably prevented me to become The Amazingly Stupid Cancer-Boy!

I'm almost 22 years old and until a few months ago I did not realize that Masterpiece Theater is not in fact Master P's Theater. Luckily I realized this quietly and on my own while my girlfriend was flipping through channels.

Up until I was about five, I thought all girls were vegetarians and all boys were omnivores. This was because me and my mom were both vegetarians, but my dad ate meat. I also thought that tigers were female lions.

I realized how wrong I actually was as soon as I started school.

Elise shares two tales about Ye Olde Lady Parts:

I used to believe that when a women received her period she had it for the rest of her life, constantly bleeding non-stop.

and...

I also believed that God decided when a women was to have a baby and that sex didn't exist.

Kelsi wonders where the balloons are.

When I was first learning to read, I thought that the little writing under the McDonald's sign said "balloons and balloons served" when in reality it says "billions and billions served".

I used to wonder where all those balloons were when I went to McDonald's cause I hadn't gotten a balloon from there yet.

Post Image: McDonald's website. c. 1996