Who Is The Easter Bunny?

Barret attempts to unveil the true identity of the Easter Bunny:

I was about five years old when I first brilliantly deduced that the Easter Bunny was actually a 10-year-old black kid.

I knew that there were holes in the traditional Easter Bunny story. Santa Claus I could understand. Magic reindeer? Fine. But the idea that a bunny somehow delivered candy was, in a word, ridiculous. How did he carry it? Rabbits don't even have hands. And while Santa Claus purportedly had elves to build his toys, no one ever mentioned where the Easter Bunny's candy came from. I had assume that, like most things in my world, it came from Kmart. How does the Easter Bunny buy candy at Kmart? The whole concept of the Easter Bunny was deeply flawed, and the adults who told it to me were obviously idiots.

One day around Easter time I was watching the news on TV, and they showed some Easter celebrations -- maybe a parade or something, I don't remember exactly. But at some point, the camera focused on an African-American boy, about 10 years old, wearing a pink bunny costume. At that point, everything clicked. THIS was the REAL Easter Bunny.

It made perfect sense. A bunny would not be able to buy candy at Kmart and bring it to people's houses. But a kid dressed as a bunny could pull it off. I had figured out what no adult ever could. Immediately I began spreading the Good News.

Not one person ever believed what I told them. Which was frustrating. I held the truth in the palm of my hand, and no one would simply accept what I was offering. Clearly, I had my work cut out for me. No one ever said that the life of a prophet was easy.